Love, Honor & Protect- Addicted to You 2 Page 9

  “The two of you haven’t seen each other since… since you walked in on him. What Jeremiah did was wrong and unforgivable, but the both of you need to talk about everything that’s happened.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about, Amber. He stepped out of our relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that he was hurt after seeing those pictures, and he had every right to assume the worst, but he could have come to me. He could have come to me and asked me about them, but he didn’t.” I swallow. “He chose to go to a bar, pick up the first woman he saw, and take her back to a hotel. He wanted me to catch him. He wanted to hurt me the same way he thought I’d hurt him. How can I be with someone like that?”

  “I can’t say that I understand what you’re going through, because I don’t. I won’t pretend that I do.” She turns her body to fully face me as she reaches for my other hand. “All I know is that the two of you need to talk about this, face to face.”

  I shake my head. “I’d rather call him and let him know I’m alright. I’m definitely not ready to see him face to face.”

  Sighing, she reaches into her coat pocket and pulls out her phone. “That’s a start.”

  “What are you doing?” I ask.

  “I’m calling Jeremiah for you,” she says, dialing a number and lifting the phone to her face. After a moment or two, she looks up to meet my gaze. “Jeremiah, hey.”

  I swallow the lump in my throat at the mention of his name.

  “No, everything’s fine. I called because … I’m here with Tabitha and …” She pulls the phone away from her face and holds it out to me.

  Hesitating, I reach out with a shaking hand and take her phone. Holding her gaze, her nodding for encouragement, I lift it to my face, but I don’t say anything.

  “Tabitha?”

  His voice is low but desperate. He sounds the same but so different at the same time. He doesn’t sound entirely like himself. … He sounds broken. I continue to say nothing because I can’t think straight long enough to form a single word, let alone a complete sentence.

  “Tabitha, please, say something. Anything,” he pleads.

  Sitting up straight and squaring my shoulders, I take a deep breath and swallow the lump in my throat before saying, “Jeremiah.”

  I hear a sharp intake of breath on the other end before a sigh comes through. “It’s so good to hear your voice,” he says softly. “I’ve missed hearing it.”

  “I’m alright, Jeremiah.”

  “What?”

  “Amber told me you’ve been worried sick about me, wondering about how I am and that I should give you a call,” I state as calmly and evenly as I can. “I’m alright. No one has tried to kill me again; nothing weird has been going on. I’m safe, Jeremiah.”

  For a while, the other end is silent. Only the sound of his breathing can be heard on the other end. Instead of saying anything, I just sit there, just as quiet as he is, listening to the sounds of his breathing. I imagine he’s sitting on the couch with the phone up to his ear, staring at the TV screen with a blank look on his face as he’s thinking about all that’s happened in the last several months. Is he thinking of ways he could have stopped that man from almost raping me? Is he thinking about how he wishes he would have just come to me about the pictures instead of sleeping with that woman? Or is he thinking about me being there with him on the couch, cuddled beneath his arm as we watch a movie? Because I am. I can’t stop thinking about the many other ways all of this could have gone or about how we would still be together had he not gone to that bar.

  “I love you, Tabitha,” he finally says. “I love you, and I miss you. Don’t you miss me?”

  I don’t know what to say to him. Do I tell him that I love him too? Do I let him know that I miss him too? I want to. I want to scream it at the top of my lungs, but I don’t. I can’t.

  “I have to go, Jeremiah.”

  “No, wait! Please, can we just … talk?”

  “There’s nothing to talk about. Look, I’ll try and text you and let you know how I’m doing.” I look to Amber. “Have a wonderful day.” I hand her the phone then push to my feet.

  “Where are you going?” she questions.

  “Inside. I need something to drink,” I tell her just as my phone goes off.

  “Alright. I’m right behind you,” she says.

  “Hello?” I pick up on the seventh ring.

  “Tabitha, sweetie, don’t hang up,” Mrs. Cross says.

  I take a big breath. “What can I do for you, Mrs. Cross?”

  “Please, call me Julia,” she says before sighing. “The reason I called is Nicki and I would love it if you’d come to our anniversary party today.”

  “Mrs.—Julia, I’d love to, but I can’t.”

  “He won’t be there, sweetie,” she says.

  I swallow. “He won’t?”

  “He hasn’t come around since the two of you split up. He seems … lost with you.”

  And I’m lost without him, is what I want to say. I want to tell her how much I love her son and how much I wish I were wrapped in his arms right now as we lay in our bed, watching whatever is on television, but I don’t. I keep it to myself because I know she’ll tell Jeremiah, and I can’t deal with him right now.

  “I would really appreciate it if you’d come. It would mean the world to Nicki and me.”

  “And you’re sure Jeremiah won’t be there?” I ask.

  “I’m sure,” she says.

  “Alright. I’ll come.”

  She squeals loudly on the other end. “Oh, sweetie, thank you. You’ve just made my day.”

  “I’m glad I could. I will see you Thursday.”

  “Alright. Enjoy the rest of your day, honey.”

  “I will. You do the same.”

  Ending the call, I make my way into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water from the fridge then make my way back into the living room where Amber is on the phone with God knows who. Maybe it’s Jeremiah. Maybe they’re trying to come up with a plan to get me to see him.

  It’s not like you’d be all that against it. You and him both know you want to see him almost as much as he wants to see you. You should have told him you missed him, too, you stubborn girl.

  The voice in my head is right. I do want to see him almost as much as he wants to see me, but the question is, what will I do if I see him? Will I cry? Will I hit him? Will I curse him? That’s the million-dollar question.

  “Yeah, she’s right here. I don’t think she wants to talk to you again, Jeremiah.” She looks up at me with an apologetic smile. “You need to give her more time and space. What you did is not something anyone can just get over in several months. You broke her trust in you, and we both know trust is a challenging thing to earn back.”

  Just talk to him. Face to face. It’s about time the two of you spoke face to face and hashed things out. So listening to the voice in my head, I cross the room and reach for the phone. She stares at me for a moment then hands me the phone.

  “You want to know if I miss you? I do. I miss you all the time. I miss waking up next to you, I miss hugging you, I miss kissing you, and I miss hearing you tell me you love me. I miss everything there is to miss about you and our family, Jeremiah, but you broke something that isn’t easily fixed. I’m not some business deal that you can throw money at and make the problems disappear,” I say in one big breath. “I no longer trust you.”

  “I know that. I know I fucked up, really fucked up, but I am willing to do whatever I must to fix this, to fix us. I love you, and I want our family back.”

  Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Your mother invited me to their anniversary party Thursday, and I accepted on the note that you weren’t going to be there.” I run my fingers through my hair. “I would like for you to come so we can talk.”

  “Alright. I’ll be there,” he says.

  I nod. “Good. I will see you tomorrow.”

  With that, I end the call and give Amber back her phone befo
re flopping down onto the couch beside her. “How do you feel?”

  I turn my head to meet her gaze. “Nervous, happy, and scared all at once.”

  “Why?”

  “I haven’t seen Jeremiah in three and a half months, Amber. He’s the love of my life, and we’ve been apart for some time. Things aren’t the same.” I throw my arm over my eyes and sigh heavily.

  “I know. Do you know what you’re going to say to him?” she asks.

  I shake my head and shrug. “Yes and no. I honestly don’t know if I am going to hit him and scream at him for what he did or cry and tell him how I feel.”

  I feel her take my hand in hers. “Whatever you do, I’ll support you no matter what. I may have known Jeremiah a lot longer than you, but I am a woman before I am his friend, which means I am with you on this. It’s hard for me to forgive him for what he did to you.”

  “Whatever happens tomorrow will determine our relationship.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It means whatever is said tomorrow will determine what direction our relationship will go.”

  “I hope the two of you can work things out for the sake of the kids. The two of you should be able to be around each other with the kids.”

  I nod in agreement. “So do I.”

  Past

  Tabitha

  (14)

  The following morning goes by rather quickly. I don’t know if it’s because I’m going to Jeremiah’s parents’ anniversary party, or if it’s because today will be the first time I see Jeremiah in three and a half months. I’m not sure, but the day went by quickly. Not only did I spend time with the kids, but I visited with my parents and with my girls. We hung out, talking about any and everything but Jeremiah. And now, it’s time to get dressed. Amber, Brooke, Barbara, and I decide to get dressed at Brooke’s new house. She’d just moved into a new house a few weeks ago, and we finally finished helping her unpack earlier today. Now, the three of them would not be them if they didn’t dress me in the tightest dress they could find.

  “Do I really have to wear this? It’s literally like a second skin on me.” I try and pinch the dress but only end up pinching myself. “Ow!”

  “Uh, yeah.” Brooke laughs while pushing my breasts up.

  I slap her hands away. “I can do that myself.”

  Walking over to the full-body mirror on the back of her door, I smooth the dress down while looking myself over. They’ve dressed me in a short knee-length black dress that hugs my every curve with a pair of matching three-inch heels, and they’ve pinned my hair up into a tight messy bun.

  “Again, why am I wearing this?” I ask.

  “Well, you want that Ryan Reynolds look alike to remember what he’s missing,” Barbara says with a sinister smile. “Make him sweat and jealous when he notices all the attention you’re getting from other men.”

  “Yeah. Make him hot and bothered with just one look at you and regret what he did to you,” says Brooke.

  I roll my eyes. “I’m sure he already regrets what he did.”

  “I just want him to remember how beautiful you are and how lucky he was,” Amber says.

  Taking a deep breath, I turn around to face them. “Look, I know you have my best interest at heart, but I am not trying to make him jealous, envious, or make him feel bad. We’re just going to discuss a few things then get on with our lives.”

  “But—” Brooke starts, but I hold up a hand to stop her.

  “Please. I need the three of you to behave and leave Jeremiah alone.”

  “Fine, we’ll behave,” Amber says.

  “Speak for yourself,” Barbara says, crossing her arms. “I want that bastard to pay for what he did. He’s lucky I don’t shank his ass with an ice pick.”

  Shaking my head, I cross the room to grab my handbag. “We should go, or we’re going to be late.” I reach into my handbag for my keys. “I’m driving.”

  “I thought I was driving,” Brooke says, following me out of her room and into the living room.

  “You were, but now, I am. I need to think about anything other than Barbara shanking Jeremiah with an ice pick at his parents’ anniversary party.”

  Grabbing my coat, I make my way outside to the car. “I call shotgun,” Amber says, rushing to the passenger side door.

  “What are we, in middle school?” Barbara laughs.

  “Looks like it,” Brooke adds.

  “Why don’t the two of you go eat a bag of dicks,” Amber hisses.

  I can’t help but laugh as I climb into the car. I haven’t heard anything that funny in quite a while. Or at least I hadn’t found anything that funny in quite a while. I’m laughing so hard that tears start to fall, and my stomach starts to cramp up, and I must lean against the wheel as I try and catch my breath.

  “Oh, it is not that damn funny,” Barbara hisses.

  “I think she’s losing it,” Brooke adds.

  “Oh my God! Amber!” I laugh.

  “Wow. I haven’t heard you laugh like that in a while, Tabitha,” Amber says, reaching over and placing her hand on my shoulder as I lean back against my seat to catch my breath. “Breathe, honey. Breathe.”

  Once I can catch my breath, I start up the car and pull out of the driveway and take off down the road.

  “You know, what she said wasn’t that damn funny,” Barbara says in a grumpy tone.

  I look at her in the rearview mirror. “Yes, it really was. At least to me it was.”

  “Yeah, whatever. Just drive.”

  It takes me twenty minutes to make it to Jeremiah’s parents’ house. I’ve always loved pulling up to their house. With it being nearly three times the size of Jeremiah’s house, I find it very … fairytale-like. It looks like a big chestnut-brown castle made of brick and wood. The house is to die for.

  “Tabitha!”

  I look up just in time to see Mrs. Cross heading my way, dressed in a long, white sleeveless gown, with her arms spread wide. Smiling, I meet her halfway and wrap my arms around her as she does the same to me. The woman smells amazing and looks amazing. And for a woman in her fifties, she sure has a strong grip.

  “Oh my God. Honey, you look so beautiful,” she says, pulling away and holding me at arm’s length. “I’ve missed you so much. I’m so sorry about what Jeremiah did. He doesn’t deserve such a sweet, kind, and—.”

  “It’s okay, Mrs. Cross. You don’t have to apologize for him.” I force a smile. “As much as … can we not talk about it right now? Today is not about me, but you and Mr. Cross. It’s your anniversary.”

  “Okay, yeah,” she says then wraps her arm around my waist. “Let us all head inside.”

  As soon as we enter the house, we run into Mr. Cross. He hugs me, apologizes for his son’s lack of sense, and tells the girls and me to enjoy the party before disappearing through the house with his wife. We also run into Jason, who also hugs me, apologizes for what happened, and after calling his brother a fucking idiot, he and Amber disappear out back, leaving me with Brooke and Barbara.

  “So, this is what it’s like to be surrounded by so many white people all at once,” Barbara says.

  “Weird, isn’t it?” Brooke says.

  “What the hell?” I turn to them both. “You two need some serious help,” I say, shaking my head.

  “What? I’ve been in a room full of white people before, but not this many,” Barbara says.

  “Yeah. I bet if a helicopter flew over us, the three of us would like chocolate chips in a bowl of milk,” Brooke adds.

  Chuckling, I shake my head. “I swear, if I didn’t know the two of you, I’d think you were a bit racist.”

  Brooke smiles. “Good thing you do know us.”

  “Three o’clock. Blake Lively’s bitch just walked in,” Barbara hisses.

  “Remy’s with him, and he doesn’t look all too happy,” Brooke says.

  Turning around, I instantly meet Jeremiah’s gaze. His eyes are wide as he stares at me from across the room. My breath literally catc
hes in my throat, and I forget to breathe and find myself becoming dizzy.

  “Oh, honey, are you alright?” Brooke questions when I reach out and grab her arm to support myself.

  I grab the side of my head and nod, my eyes still on Jeremiah. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a dizzy spell.”

  Jeremiah, noticing my stumble, starts walking in my direction with Remy beside him. They both look concerned, their brows knitted together in worry. Barbara notices them heading our way and moves to step in front of me, blocking me from Jeremiah, and to be quite honest with you, I’m grateful.

  I need a minute.

  “What the hell do you want? Go away,” Barbara hisses at Jeremiah, who is looking at me from over her shoulder. “She doesn’t want to see your ass.”

  Remy being Remy steps around her and stands in front of me, taking my elbow in his hand. “Are you alright? Do you need to sit down?”

  I shake my head. “I’m fine. Just dizzy.”

  Nodding, he takes my hand and pulls me off to a corner to talk. “Look, I know this is long overdue, but I really am sorry about everything.”

  I smile and shake my head. “You have nothing to apologize for, Rem. You did nothing wrong.”

  “I know, but … I understand why he responded the way he did, but I also understand why you’re hurting and why it hurt so much. He should have come to you first instead of reacting first.” He pushes a strand of my hair behind my ear. “I’m still pissed off and angry at him for what he did. I was so angry I decked him right in the jaw.”

  I tilt my head to the side. “Really?”

  “Yeah, I had to. After we had set out to find Jessica, I punched him as soon as we got things in order.”

  Okay, now I’m confused.

  “Why would you… Why are you looking for Jessica?”

  Now, he looks confused.

  “They didn’t tell you?”

  “Tell me what?”

  “That Jessica’s the one who… Jessica sent Tony Riels after you.” He takes a big breath. “She’s also the one who poisoned you.”

  I take a step back in shock. “Oh my God.”